That isn't to say I walked away unscathed like an action hero emerging from an explosion. My neck is kinda screwed up. And it will probably get more screwed up as the years go on. I have a disk bulging into a fracture in one of my cervical vertibrae and there is something wrong with my atlas bone. I have some disk damage in my upper back. All of this is exacerbated by my day job. And auto-immune arthritis. Normally I'm wimpy, but functional and I motor along like there's not much to it.
But then there are months like this one -- my chiropractor can't get things to sit right, my psoriasis has flared which causes swelling in my joints, which, in turn, is making it impossible to keep the bones where they should be. So I have bad headaches which are keeping me from sleeping, which is keeping me from being able to heal, and is causing me stress which is fueling the cycle.
When it all decides to get out of whack, I tend to have to make choices about what isn't getting done. You'd think that this is easy, but there are days where I really do make decisions like "do I cook dinner, or do I just go to sleep? Do I shower, or do I eat?" I am very, very fortunate that these are not decisions I have to make every day, day in, day out. I have friends in that position, and I'm grateful that I do get better, that I don't have to fight all the time just to do things.
But right now I'm fighting with my body. Mentally, I'm not so hot either. Day job is really off the rails, I watched a motorcyclist die right in front of me. I mentioned I have bad luck with cars? Well, apparently he did too. Trust me, you don't want to see someone die. It sucks. It screws with your head. Even if you don't know them, even if they were doing something stupid and steered into the oncoming traffic. It doesn't matter.
So I'm spending my limited energy on Sparks. I'd like to keep up with the blog, but if I have a couple of hours to write, I want to spend it on the book, not the blog, at least for now. Hang with me, it's going to be worth it.